I have been on a little vacation from blogging the past month. For me it hasn't been an easy one. For those of you that don't know, I finally miscarried, we were out of town with some friends and on the way home from Don and Jeri's cabin. On the drive I started having contractions, they started about 5 minutes apart and by the time we got to the nearest town there were 2-3 minutes apart. I let Donovan know right before town that I would need to stop in Mountain View and just make sure everything was alright. As soon as I started getting out of the car I knew something was not. I went to the restroom and found that I had started to hemorrhage. This really scared me, about 1 1/2 to
Evanston and 2 plus hours home. I decided that everything was going to be alright and I was fine (I can see now how positive thinking is key). Went back out to the car where Donovan was waiting and first thing I said to him was "You need to give me a blessing and get me to the hospital now." I am truly thankful and blessed to have MY MAN hold the keys to make me feel at peace and know that I will be taken care of! We headed off to
Evanston and Donovan was asking if we just needed to call an ambulance...for me I wasn't sure (it would be a lot of money). Then I said if the bleeding is worse we will contact the hospital. Sure enough I was bleeding even heavier and NEEDED medical assistance. Just 3 minutes after Donovan gave me my blessing we came up to a 4 way stop and behind up was a
sheriff (what a blessing!) from there he contacted the
EMT's, he arrived 2 minutes later, and soon after the ambulance was there. I was getting all
strapped in and placed in the ambulance when Ember woke up and realized was was being taken to the hospital...this was very
traumatic for Donovan and the girls, and for me it was very hard to see my family worry as much as they were. I don't think I have ever seen Donovan so scared, I could see the love and worry he has for me...don't get me wrong, I could see it before, however, in these situations it is a little different and things are very more clear. So there began my first ride in the ambulance. Arrived at the
Evanston hospital, stayed there until stable and I was able to be transported AGAIN by ambulance to Provo. I arrived at the Provo hospital around 7pm, did some testing, schedule me for an ultrasound to see where the bleeding was coming from and then a D&C. This whole terrifying advent lasted all of 15 hours from beginning to end.
Now, I knew that the pregnancy was no longer good at my 12
th week ultrasound when they said the fetus had died. I then went the following week to
Yellowstone, then took a pill the was supposed to cause
miscarriage (DIDN'T!) Then two weeks later went to Don and Jeri's cabin. After all was done I had carried this baby for a month longer. During this month I never came to reality until the day I started to miscarry that I was no longer pregnant. If I said that I was doing alright the week following I would have been lying to everyone and myself. I finally lost it the following week. I finally about to grieve. I am doing a lot better now. Some days are worse then others. The main thing I think about is my family almost losing me. How precious time is, our spouses and our kids are! I love them and I know how blessed I am. It was an amazing trial and I know why I was given it!
Sorry this post was so long, however, there are some of you that did not hear the story and are in the dark. This is not all of it, but I thought I would save you some reading eye strain. If you would like the whole story just let me know and I will be more then happy to share it with you.